t-mobile twats - the horror, the horror...

Adverts. They have always been designed to showcase what a healthy culture needs and cannot live without and this is achieved via our total belief in “living the dream” which is basically consumerism, a stark lesson in the haves and have-nots within a divided society. So this is the dichotomy we all face in our throwaway culture: to feel self-fulfilled for possessing what’s new and trendy or to feel absolutely pathetic for not being wealthy enough to afford the stuff being continually rammed down our throats. In that respect then, we’re all continually bombarded by these self-esteem attacks and the advertisers play on this knowledge by plunging their ”BUY NOW! BUY NEW! KEEP BUYING!” knife into us all, over and over and over again…

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Posted by: Splosher | 29/10/2009

Cats vs Dogs: which will be victorious?

It's arse-kicking time!

It’s an old-age question which has been asked and pondered over by Mankind across the eons of civilised time: Cats versus Dogs – which would be victorious in an arena of battle? Not literally of course as that would just be a mass of shredded fur, oily guts and bloody phlegm; no, just in the sense of which of the two mammalian options would you choose to align yourself with if your life depended upon it. Both are furry, both have sharp teeth, both have claws – although just one could sever an artery whilst the other just annoys when skating across a wooden floor – and both show a high level of intelligence. However, we choose to ignore this last trait mostly and instead choose to film the two species doing the most “hilariously” stupid things to upload onto the internet, where rabid fans of each species foam and froth excitedly in their favouritism.

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Posted by: Splosher | 17/10/2009

Golf. It’s a funny old game…


Golf. It’s a funny old game of 2 halves. A front 9 and a back 9, split right down the middle. Er, no… It’s got 18 little holes with greens at the end… hang on, some lengths are bigger than others though, but that’s the long and short of it… wait a minute, I’m lost here…

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Posted by: Splosher | 15/10/2009

Just when life couldn’t get any worse… pt 1

Oh crap!

The above title says it all, really. I’m now dwelling in a “bad luck” period of my life, feeling like i’m trapped in a Spider’s web, silk wrapped and just waiting for the fangs to liquify me. It’s only lasted for the previous 30 years, so fingers’ crossed it’ll be over within the next 10 and I might just be able to enjoy a couple of weeks before the Grim Reaper claims what’s rightfully His. Now don’t get me wrong, I do occasionally get a bit of luck but what I’m on about is the inordinate, soul-crushing amount of Malevolent misfortune that seems to plague my everyday existence, even though I’m trying to be optimistic with that description!

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Posted by: Splosher | 14/10/2009

In an increasingly eclectic World…

Complete & utter madness...

As we are now continually amazed, bemused and confused with the plethora of societal, cultural and geographical madness the Human race now shows on a momentary basis, perhaps it’s time to explore one person’s turmoil within this “Circus of the absurd”.

All content within this blog consists of my own personal views and as such, I make no apologies for my exuberant rhetoric, satirical expression or baffling colloquialisms! 

(c) Splosher, 2009-2010

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